Is flatter the F word?


Your body, your rules….

Are plus size influencers showing their confidence? Or are they making a statement? A statement against all the body-shamers? Why? Positive and negative comments will come anyway, because you show yourself in public. As I speak for myself, I had this article in he news paper, and a lot of positivity, but also negative comments. Not only from skinny people to tell me to loose weight, but especially from the (old generation) plus size scene…. and that’s what I have to deal with for a while now. I believe in my vision, and I make a change. And I want people to believe in my vision and mission. Other influencers also make a statement on their own way. My first thought was are they insecure to do this? I am making a statement and I am not insecure. After a great talk with another inbetweenie blogger Marianne, I realized… that it has nothing to do with insecurity… they have confidence and make a statement and stand out. And here you can speak about the new generation plus size women, who is proud, have their own style and dare to be noticed!

I see on instagram pictures of women in different sizes and shapes. I see the same women in great looking clothes, but on the other side, I see the same women wearing not much clothes or clothes which are totally not flattering at all. Even if they were thin, it would’t be flattering. WHY? Does it have to flatter? From my vision as a stylist I always want to help other women to feel good, look good and feel confident. And if your clothes fit you, fit to your body type… the looks is right, so you don’t have to worry about that anymore and you can be a stronger woman! But on the other side… if you are confident… you can wear everything you want… even a garbage bag… if it has to… but you feel good about that, so it doesn’t matter what other people think.

New generation
I know I am from the new generation of women in a larger sizes, but I am the old fashioned one. Old fashion because I think the clothes you wear, should make you look better. Clothes should have a positive influence on your body and your mind, fashion should be fun! Clothes should make you feel good, fit’s your personality and that’s my opinion as a fashionista and as a stylist. And that’s probably the reason why I want to help people to look good, because I believe they deserve this. ‘Every woman deserves to be noticed’ is a slogan for years… and I believe in this.

Is have seen influencers calling the word flatter the F word! And this is a statement against all these ‘style rules’ we have heard in years now. As a fat woman you can’t wear this, this and that! Personally I am also making a ‘fashion statement’ with my style. I go many steps further than many women do, I wear combination which are not predictable for a size 46/48 EU.
Yes, I dare to be noticed and I have the guts to wear everything I want. Even a clown suit, if it has to. I am bikiniproof the whole year. And I don’t have to prove anything.


I am confidence, and I love my body. For myself I don’t have to wear shirts with these text lines or quotes. I don’t have to make pictures of my self in too tiny underwear or too tight pants, but I make my statement in another way…wearing these endless bare legs, socks in my shoes! Haha… the more comments about people they hate it, the more I wear them on my pictures! But now I understand that other women do it their own way. “Your body, your rules. Your style, your rules.” And I have to accept these women, everybody have to accept this and have respect for them. If there was more respect out there, no more body-shamers anymore. The world would be so much nicer.

Different opinions.. I know!  I always want to help other people look great. ‘The better version’ of them selves in their outfit. I do appreciate everyone in their own way of getting dressed. What I see, is when women are insecure I want to give them some tools. Tools to work with, to give them more confidence. It’s all about an attitude…. fro strong to weak. And how stronger you get, the more you loose the ‘rules of styling flattering’.


Not flattering
Wearing socks and bare legs… not flattering at all. Wearing high tops…button up or turtlenecks, not very lovely with my boobs. Tuck my shirt in my skirts and trousers. But this is a style and I wear it in real life and on the pictures. I am not shocking by showing by body negative. At least… I don’t think I do. Yes… when I just started with this website, my statement… people thought I was very extreme.. ‘a shock’ to the plus size fashion, because of my style. I am a fashionista.. no matter what size I am.

On the left I wear culottes, totally not flattering. In the middle: I tuck my top into the jeans. On the right: I show my upper arms and wear my trademark ‘socks in shoes’

What I see, are women wearing clothes, only for a picture… In real life they don’t wear it… Or they don’t wear it that extreme. Of course, I understand you style it better for the picture… I am a stylist… for editorial I do it all the time.

‘We’ plus size women don’t have to prove we are confident, sexy and that we are the same as straight size women. We already have achieved that. Yes… it’s great there’s a revolution going on. Of course we need strong influencers, idols in different sizes, which were missing a long time. My opinion is that a great influencer or idol, should be an example for me. Someone I look up to their own style, their attitude or their opinion, their confidence. That’s what make an idol an inspiration. And yes, we also want to see our idols being vulnerable, being ‘real’ , no glamour, and really accessible. That make them strong…


Iris Apfel
A great example of a person who makes a fashion statement, is Iris Apfel. And older lady who knows fashion very well. Iris: “It’s not what you do; it’s the way that you do it, as the song says. It’s ridiculous: some of the most stylish people don’t understand what style is. Style is attitude, attitude, attitude.” She is a great inspiration, a woman at the age of 93… making a fashion statement..  She is confident, She doesn’t need any feedback or empowering… she’s strong enough. Iris: “I’m not pretty, and I’ll never be pretty, but it doesn’t matter. I have something much better. I have style.”

“You have to look in the mirror and see yourself. If it feels good, then I know it’s for me. I don’t dress to be stared at, I dress for myself.” This is a quote from Iris Apfel, and this is exactly my opinion. If it feel good, wear it…

Hailey Darling posted a photo of herself on Instagram wearing a swimsuit, she got a lot of negative comments. The next day, Darling responded with another swimsuit photo and an important message for the body-shamers.
“Once I started actively trying not to judge others based on appearances, I slowly started to see beauty in the people around me,” she wrote. “Soon enough, I could look at a body like mine and see beauty where society told me I wouldn’t find it.” Darling told The Huffington Post: “I want people to see me still standing and believing I am beautiful even though people tell me I’m not.”

This is a shout out for attention.. and she gets the attention… She is a gorgeous girl, she doesn’t need these statement outfits. But… She has the confidence to show herself on this way! And it’s her right to wear whatever she wants!  My opinion or from others doesn’t matter at all…. if she believes in it… she has to keep going on doing this… it’s her body, her rules! And stop all the negative and hate!

“I am here to change minds about bodies, not to shame any other types of bodies,” she wrote. It’s great you want to change minds, that’s what I do… that’s what many ‘celebrate my body’ bloggers do… but I feel a negative feeling… an upset woman, who has experienced to much negativity. Even if she was a size 36 EU girl, who wants to change minds, I think this is not the way to do this! This is a shout out for attention, I think under this ‘statement look’ is hiding an insecure and vulnerable woman.

On the left the picture wearing the swimsuit
Cailey Darling

There are not many plus size bloggers, influencers who show new things, who really inspire me in a fashion way.
But there are some ‘plus size’ influencers with a ‘fashion’ statement, see them below. They have their own strong style and that’s my opinion to make a statement to the ‘ regular fashion industry’: “I can look fab in my style and wear fashion!”

Fan of these Dutch/Belgium bloggers/models Danielle, Els, Marianne and Mayra

Fan of their outspoken style: Gabi Fresh, Danielle Vanier, Felicity Hayward and Margie Plus

Huge fan of Anissa Mawinda, at the moment one of the only influencers who has a real own style!
Anissa Mawinda_1

You are worth to be noticed
Yes, I have learned… learned from other women. Having a good discussion about what is all going on. My website is 5 years old and what has changed? A lot… but the most that there are so many women out there with the statement: “I can wear whatever I want, if you like it or not” And this shows that the new generation is growing and growing… the new generation which shows the younger generation you are worth to be noticed, remember that!

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