With the release of the movie Fifty Shades of Grey and Saint Valentine knocking on the door, our imagination keeps getting triggered. Dining by candlelight, chocolates as aphrodisiac and a new piece of lingerie that will make your cheeks go red. All these make a perfect start, but doesn’t it also have to spark between the sheets, as a duet or solo-act? Many women are convinced of erotic toys to make it more fun and exciting. Nevertheless it is hard to find. Our quest for ‘ooh’s’ and ‘aah’s’ begins.
The success of Fifty shades of Grey still vibrates in the air and the past month the movie release boosted it immensely. ‘There will be sold more whips, blindfolds and handcuffs the following days,’ noted Ann Cuyvers, owner of Erotische Verbeelding, an erotic boutique in Antwerp. We have the erotic trilogy to thank for the openness with which we can talk about our sex life nowadays. ‘As a couple you can start talking about the film and get inspired for at home, but also friends can chat about it. The only thing I advise people is to stay true to themselves and to be honest about what you do or don’t do, what you have or don’t have,’ Ann commented.
The research Women, Sex and shopping, carried out by Hewson group, a research bureau that gained many insights in women’s sexuality, showed that many women do like to read erotic literature. ‘The books are a pleasant source of inspiration and a warming-up,’ tells Sarah* ‘I do often read erotic literature, which has a positive effect on my libido and my bed activities with my partner. Nonetheless I can also enjoy them very much on my own.’
Chantal, owner of Lady Paname, an erotic boutique in Brussels, points out that the trilogy does have a downside: ‘The story isn’t truly BDSM (Bondage, dominance, sado masochismus). In the books and the film it is just role-playing that results in sex. BDSM is much more conscious and often it does not involve sex.’
But role-playing does have advantages too. ‘It would be better if people embraced the game-element in sex and the film encourages this. We learn to go out and play with our adult toys.’ Of course the storyline (a young inexperienced woman that knows how to get a rich, talented, sweet, handsome businessman) is a successful source of inspiration for many among us.
‘But not everybody now has to buy handcuffs to have a healthy sexlife!’ Ann replies, ‘you have to know what you want and what works for you specifically. Sex isn’t a race, it’s an experience!’
So only one rule has to be taken into account: experience sex like you’ve never experienced it before. Relax completely. Lose all stress. And enjoy. The ooh’s and aah’s will come naturally.